The Asperger Blog

Linking Education and Social Media Awareness Around Asperger Syndrome

Asperger Help Support and Strategies

Asperger Help Support and Strategies

1 week ago

Asperger Experts

Website update: We've spent the day moving to a host that can handle the volume of traffic & interest that is being generated from the new website.

We expect to have the site up and running tomorrow. Thank you so much for your patience and we will post an update here in the morning.
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Comment on Facebook

I am currently giggling. Not because it’s late, not because you are dealing with more stress... because I clicked on the link so fast after you posted it was up again, that the down for maintenance sign was still up! Just a little reminder that I need to slow down myself sometimes!

Hey, is the website still having problems? I just found out about this, subscribed to the basic AE+ plan, and then found out it wasn't working. Any updates would be appreciated!

Is the D & D event still happening today? We were registered. Then our membership was cancelled...not by us. I re-paid the membership fee today, but the event is no longer listed. My son was hoping to participate.

Take your time. It doesn't matter at all that it's taking a little longer than anticipated.

People won’t remember its late if its right. Bon voyage and happy connecting.

No problem, you are talking to the most patient, understanding group of people on earth!

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1 week ago

Asperger Experts

Thank you. Thank you for your support, your letters of encouragement and your genuine, emotional support as we work through our website tech issues. You are the definition of what it truly means to be a part of a community, something we hope to give others just as soon as we sort out our tech gremlins.

We appreciate each and every one of you deeply.
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Comment on Facebook

It's just a little extra time, ya know? We all have that. Don't stress it, just keep going. Better to have it right than have it soon. It'll be ready when it's ready.

You have helped us all so much already, a slight delay is no problem at all just thank you guys for all that you have done so far x

You have been our saving grace in sooooo many ways. Your support, caring, knowledge and understanding has not only validated our thoughts but has also given us such hope for the future. I share your site with EVERYONE I know. Last week the stylist who cut my grandsons hair shared her story with me about her 4 yr old who is most definitely on the spectrum altho no diagnosis yet. ..she couldn't get to the computer fast enough to bookmark your page. The lives your are touching is astronomical . THANK YOU SO MUCH. GOD BLESS YOU ALL.

Greatness is never easy. I believe you'll get the site up and running soon. 😊

Wishing you luck from Sydney. Grateful for all that you do. You guys are brilliant. I'm on the new website now. I swear I thought I saw a "community" tab, but when I signed in, it disappeared. Looking forward to connecting with fellow Sydney siders who are in the same boat.

We appreciate you immensely!

You got this!

No worries!! Thank you so much!

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1 week ago

Asperger Experts

Unfortunately we had a technical issue on our website that needs our attention, so we're forced to delay the launch of our new website until tomorrow, Dec 8th at 10 AM Pacific. Thanks for your understanding and see you then ... See MoreSee Less


Comment on Facebook

What's the Web address when it does start please?

Deep breaths! Looking forward to it!

I just caught that..was reading the article and it said the page wasn't available..thank you for the heads up..

It's better to find the issue prior to launch. Take a deep breath. It will be great!

2 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Our website is currently in maintenance in preparation for our new website launching on Dec 7th at 10 AM. See you soon! ... See MoreSee Less


Comment on Facebook

I can't wait! Looking forward to it!

2 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

It was a pleasure speaking today at Congregation B'nai B'rith in my hometown of Santa Barbara, California.

I spoke to a standing room only crowd of a few hundred people about the importance of community, connection and empathy. Full talk below!

Congregation B'nai B'rith
Danny Raede of at Sunday Morning Live
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2 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Sharing via Neurodiversity + Parenting:

Signal-boosting this statement circulating the Autistic community on Facebook:

“Just a public service announcement. If you are planning on reading or gifting “To Siri With Love" by Judith Newman, please be aware that the autistic community has called for a boycott.

The book is a grotesque invasion of the 13-year old son's privacy including her cruel observations that imagining him having sex is accompanied by the Benny Hill soundtrack in her head.

She plans to acquire power of attorney to have him sterilized when he is 18, despite the fact that he is considered "high-functioning" (i.e. like me - I don't like to use functioning lables, but i want to be clear, he may have his own reasonable plans about starting a family.)

Books having a long shelf life, this tell-all laughing at his struggles with social communication, motor apraxia, etc. may make her a lot of money and has gotten her on the NYT book list, however that book is going to follow him for the rest of his life. It is child abuse in printed format.”

#BoycottToSiri copied and pasted

Shared via @Erin Human
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Comment on Facebook

Speaking as someone more able to use neurotypical logic than you are but who also greatly appreciates your way of seeing things, all I can say is Judith Newman is a classic frou frou New Yorker who is married but has a separate home from her husband. You go on and and ask a family lawyer for a nuanced answer about what that situation is, you don't have to take it from me. Ms. Newman is nobody at all to be talking about "normal" and "not normal". I was 27 or 28 years old before I experience the real love of a real adopted Midwestern "normal" family that loved and cared about each other for *real*. Once I had experienced appropriate treatment from real people--only then did I understand that my family was truly nuts. Godwilling Gus may also experience this. For me it turned my life around.

Its definately frustrating to see actions of an individual celebrated when they are resultant from bad intentions. On the other hand, Judith Newman has definately achieved free speech here but boy did she have to shit all over someone to do it.

Wow. I briefly read through some reviews and I have to say I am really shocked and disgusted! This boy has not given his mother permission. She’s seeking forced sterilization?! I’m just so disturbed a mother would use her child like this. 😔

*jaw drops* - seeking sterilization?!?! WTF??? I hope that she gets him removed from her care for that alone

What the flying f*ck is this?!?!

I haven’t read this book, but I will make point to pick it up.

Silly question but this is not the same story as the movie with Sidney Poitier is it?

Argh! And I thought The Rosie Project was offensive!! (It is, but this is beyond!)

really sad that a mother could do this. i won't be buying it.

I will not buy it.

To Amanda Adams Evans

I knew a family that had their developmentally disabled 13 yo daughter go through a hysterectomy because they were afraid her brothers would rape her! I still feel sick about almost 40 years later.

What I want to know is, “Who is the Autistic Community, of which you speak?”

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2 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Starting on Dec 7th, we’ll be hosting a wide variety of online & in person events for all ages through our new website & community housed on

If you are interested in attending any of these events, just wait until Dec 7th. We’ll email out instructions on how to join the new website then!

Here’s a sneak peak into some of those events:

Dec 8th - 7 PM Pacific - Community Campfire - Open to AE+ & AE Pro members

Gather around the virtual campfire and meet via video or text chat to discuss, share stories, and generally hang out with your fellow community members from all over the globe.

Dec 10th - 3 PM Pacific - Dungeons & Dragons Character Creation - Open to AE+ & AE Pro members

We’ll meet online to create Dungeons & Dragons characters and discuss logistics for running a campaign together! No experience needed. If you’d like to volunteer to DM, show up and let us know!

Dec 12th - 5 PM Pacific - Community Campfire - Open to AE+ & AE Pro Members

For those that didn’t get to come the first time! We’ll host these weekly starting in the new year!

December 16th - 2 PM - 5 PM Pacific - Video Game Night - AE HQ in Seattle - Open to all

It’s the return of video game night! Come hang out, play mario kart or super smash bros and meet your people!

December 17th - 5 PM Pacific - Meditation & Visualization - Open to all

We’ll meet online to practice a simple meditation & visualization technique to help calm & center you.

Want to attend any of these events? Keep an eye on your email inbox come Dec 7th as we launch our new website!

There’s a lot more coming, like group vacations, seminars & workshops on adults with Asperger’s, Getting Unstuck, processing shame & understanding the rules of life, as well as more retreats & adventures for young adults, adults & families.

Hope to see you at one of our upcoming events!
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Starting on Dec 7th, we’ll be hosting a wide variety of online & in person events for all ages through our new website & community housed on

If you are interested in attending any of these events, just wait until Dec 7th. We’ll email out instructions on how to join the new website then!

Here’s a sneak peak into some of those events:

Dec 8th - 7 PM Pacific - Community Campfire - Open to AE+ & AE Pro members

Gather around the virtual campfire and meet via video or text chat to discuss, share stories, and generally hang out with your fellow community members from all over the globe.

Dec 10th - 3 PM Pacific - Dungeons & Dragons Character Creation - Open to AE+ & AE Pro members

We’ll meet online to create Dungeons & Dragons characters and discuss logistics for running a campaign together! No experience needed. If you’d like to volunteer to DM, show up and let us know!

Dec 12th - 5 PM Pacific - Community Campfire - Open to AE+ & AE Pro Members

For those that didn’t get to come the first time! We’ll host these weekly starting in the new year!

December 16th - 2 PM - 5 PM Pacific - Video Game Night - AE HQ in Seattle - Open to all

It’s the return of video game night! Come hang out, play mario kart or super smash bros and meet your people!

December 17th - 5 PM Pacific - Meditation & Visualization - Open to all

We’ll meet online to practice a simple meditation & visualization technique to help calm & center you.

Want to attend any of these events? Keep an eye on your email inbox come Dec 7th as we launch our new website!

There’s a lot more coming, like group vacations, seminars & workshops on adults with Asperger’s, Getting Unstuck, processing shame & understanding the rules of life, as well as more retreats & adventures for young adults, adults & families.

Hope to see you at one of our upcoming events!


Comment on Facebook

Cameron Fyfe-mcwilliam

We're done fighting things like this. The best we can do is say "We'll be over here... not traumatizing kids further".

Sigh. Come Dec 7th, we'll have a safe place online to gather, share resources, and hopefully work together to avoid abuse like this.

Public schools in Iowa test a controversial type of discipline.
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Comment on Facebook

My son would be out of that school so quick they would get whiplash... Then they would get it a second time by my tongue... I work at a small private school for kids with issues that make it hard to funtion in a traditional classroom and we have a "calm down area" which also doubles as a room for migraines. The kids can CHOOSE to go in there and we may Suggest that they might want to go in for a while if they aren't able to reason well at that time, but NEVER would we LOCK a Child in a small confined room!! That is imprisonment! Oh my gosh this makes me So Mad.

Disgusting. My son is autistic and his autism only school has calm rooms for children hurting themselves or others, which is usually a by product of distress, sensory overload and lack of coping emotionally. Calm rooms are NOT tiny or claustrophobic. They have cushions and bean bags in. They are not enclosed and isolated and locked in. Its merely a safe soft calmer space to allow them to actually calm. Those vile little wooden boxes are NOT calming. Just shocking.

This is why we homeschool. Why even send your kids where they ‘discipline’ them for their disability? CRAZY!

how could you even consider too place any neuro divergent children in this How about they lock the teacher in their first and see how he or she copes

Don’t hate me but I am in favor of these when used properly. I’ve worked special ed for two years now. We used this room for rewards and as a place to keep everyone safe. You have to go a bit further and think about the other children as well. When we have had to use this room it was because all other diversions were exhausted or not effective in changing the child’s behavior. Are there schools out there that misuse this, HEL YES. THOSE EDUCATORS SHOULD BE FIRED!!! But when you have kid who is a runner and is destroying a class like a tornado who also threatens you when you get close with scissors or a pencil it becomes your only option once you get the item away from them. Also some kids enjoy the dark or time alone. We had flashlight time in there where they got to turn off the light and go play with the door cracked or they could take a nap in there if they were exhausted. It’s just like guns, they’re not bad until someone uses it the wrong way.

Arlington (Wa) School District has this! My son was placed in there all day every day at Post Middle school the last half of his 6th grade year. I pulled him out of school but not fast enough. He is still traumatised at 20 years old!

How about instead of locking them in a box they send them to a room staffed with teachers to help them cope by teaching them breathing exercises, yoga, meditation something that will actually help them.

What the fuck?! When I was a kid they locked us in closets (among other things) if we were "bad," that messed a lot of us up. Now they're actually condoning that shit?! That's enough internet for one day I think.

I learned that just because you don't see them in you local school, they might be near by at a "therapy" school. Common here in IL. Fyi there are schools that have sensory rooms, they are very different. This should be illegal. I am very proud of standing up to our school district and telling them my son will never go to the schhol that had a row of these. It is a dirty secret that many teachers don't even realize when the choose a different placement for a child. Good people wouldn't do this to a child.

Ok now I'm just pissed. Wtf are they thinking??Look how small that space is! Mostly dark with one small window on the top and LOCKED in?? I am neurotypical (at least I think I am) and an adult, and that would freak ME out. Closed in spaces that I can't get out of? Hell no. I would be like a rabid dog. I could see having a space like that for kids to CHOOSE to go in, but to lock them in for up to an hour? Seriously who tf had this bullshit idea?? I don't care what issues the kid has, putting them in solitary confinement against their will would only traumatize them!! I have got to get off the Internet! Enough stories of cruelty toward children today!! 😡😞😭

My son had a teacher that took kids to the janitor closet with the large trash bins for testing and then "locked them in" by putting her foot against the door, and laughed outloud when they would bolt out :(. Yes, she is still teaching

The teaching profession needs an upgrade. We need people who can really handle the rigor and stress of teaching 20-30 kids. That’s not going to happen until we pay them better and expect a different type of person to be a teacher. We need higher standards. It must be someone who loves kids and loves to teach and not someone who decides to teach just because it is an option of a profession. There are great teachers out there, we have been fortunate to have some. But so many are incapable of doing the job properly.

People have mentioned fire hazard, but also, what about when a kid is injured in there and no one knows? It's only a matter of time until someone is seriously hurt or killed because of this. And since we can be sure this is being used disproportionately on disabled children, isn't this a violation of the ADA and other civil rights protections? How is this not being litigated???

I would not tolerate this. My daughter is in a behavior program and is mainstreamed the entire day (except homeroom time) unless she needs a break. The school has a room to use for "seclusion" but it is an office converted that looks like a normal room. It is just a place for her to get away from other students to keep them and herself safe until she is back on track. She is now in 8th and the other day she actually voiced to her sped teacher between classes that she needed to go to the safe room. She did, talked about what was frustrating her, got on track, and went back to class. Her school is doing it right and we see improvement each year. This room they show in the video would not fly with me or her.

I work at a school for students with special needs. I have had my nose broken twice, have been beaten on on more occasions than I can count, bitten 3 times, had furniture thrown at me, been pinched, scratched/scarred, been shoved to the ground, had my head banged against a wall...and that’s just me, not our whole staff. We have secure seclusion rooms and in most of these cases, locked rooms were unnecessary, as we were able to de-escalate the students without them...or by putting a beanbag in the room and just closing the door partway to allow time away from sensory stimulation. There have been times when a student has been so out of control for such an extended period of time, that we have had to lock the door for everyone’s safety. In those cases, parents are notified by phone and paperwork and we have to enter the episode into a state database, which is monitored on many levels. I absolutely do not agree with using locked rooms for punishment or for small infractions, but support the use of these rooms in cases where significant bodily injury is imminent for students or staff.

My son has Aspergers. One of his primary schools put him in storage room until I picked him up. I truly believe the way they treated my son while he attended this School has left psychological damage. When we drive past that School now, he still says how much he hates those people. He was grade 2 at the time. Now is going into yr 11. Some Staff need to be educated about autism instead of disliking children with autism

This happened to my son while living in SC. He was locked in a "calm down" closet for hours at a time most days. It was a tiny storage closet with nothing in it and often the tiny window was covered. It turned into his own personal prison (nightmare) and I think played a huge roll in his subsequent PTSD diagnosis. He was germaphobic and often had spiders locked in with him. We took him out of public school for this reason. It sickens me to think back on the trauma he endured in a self contained special needs class and even more so that 10 years later it's STILL happening. Clearly the knowledge was poorly executed by teachers who I think cared but were taught incorrectly and misunderstood a meltdown to be misbehaving. It's all about education and training and though we've come a long way, clearly we have a long way to go!! This breaks my heart!!!😓💔

Surely this infringes on the rights of the child? Scary to think those who are supposedly among the most educated on what a chid needs, would deem this appropriate. Its akin to torture

If we as parents did this we would be locked up for child abuse and our children would be taken away from us. But because it's the school it's ok wtf...

I don't have any answers, but what do you do with some of these kids that are extremely violent? I know a few teachers that are at their wits end with some of these kids. They are in terrible homes with no help. They go to school and rage all day. If you call the cops, the kids just get put in a system that doesn't work either. Some of these kids bring shivs and weapons to school and must be restrained by multiple teachers. They put good teachers and kids in danger. I don't think you realize how many truly crappy parents are out there. These rooms may not be the answer, but that's what they have to work with until a better system is figured out. I'm all for better options than this too but realize it's a bigger issue than a lot of people think.

I've heard of districts wanting to completely abolish these seclusion rooms, but keeping one or two around for those that would like to voluntarily go there. When I was a kid I would go there during lunch time and other random times because it's dark and quiet, a total sensory break from the craziness of the school and people.

Someone below brought up a good point- is this fire safety approved? And regardless here is a BIGGER ISSUE- many autistic kids tend to think of all kinds of scenarios like fire or emergency safety and “what if” scenarios. My son is terrified of hurricanes for example even tho we live nowhere near where one can hit. So there is the obvious safety concern and then the horrific mental one. How do we stop this?!!

If the child is self-harming, this will only prevent the use of objects or head-banging. There are plenty of ways to self-harm in a padded room: tearing hair out, pulling nails out, goudging eyes, for example. These boxes do not address the issues surrounding the behaviors. They also do not address under-staffing or lack of training. I work with adults who are runners, self-harmers, and who have harmed others. I teach them to be safe and work to help their families address the causes of their behaviors so everyone can be safe. Many--but not all--are on the spectrum. Some of my people had rooms like this in their pasts: where they were regularly locked up for long periods of time; where they were physically, emotionally, and sexually abused; which caused life-long traumas and fears. These may be a solution for the teachers and school districts who do not have the funding for the staffing and training needed to address the causes for the children's behaviors but it is not a good or healthy solution. While a quiet or sensory room can be beneficial for someone to calm down, these only open from the outside and imprison the child. I notice the window in the first room is covered, not ok. If in a regular classroom, what does this teach? There may be K Plan funding for the kids to assist with their needs even during school. One of my friend's sons has an aide with him one-on-one the entire school day from bus unload to bus loading. That funding is part of the ACA. In my state these boxes would be a violation of the administrative rules. And I believe they also violate the ADA.

I'm so glad my son is at a good school ,with various meltdowns he would have definitely been subjected to this place and it would have totally destroyed any trust and safety in the people caring for him . On what planet would this help any child ? It's almost a padded cell . Most teachers are not trained in mental health and shouldn't make these botched attempts at trying to cure someone who isn't sick or bad . Seek professional help .

It is abuse! Even prisoners get bars. Poor child is completely cut off! My special needs child and my neurotypical child both would've flipped. And, even if they can't see how horrible this is for a child to endure... could we not agree that this is a fire hazards. If a fire broke out, could we not imagine the possibilities 🙁

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2 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

It feels like I don't belong. It feels like I'm a stranger in a strange land, where everyone is blind to the truth except me.

And until now, I've never had a place to connect with others like me. Until now. (Coming December 7th)
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Comment on Facebook

If you are,already an AE+ member, will you automatically be on this new,site?

The drs wont tell us just why my grandson has all these vicious ways They cant conclude why his actions are

This is my daughter: I have asbergers and I'm female, does that mean I'm different? And if so can you tell me what to do? (I'm 11)

Im in Australia....will we be able use the info too? I mean will there be events here?

Can a group be set up for Australians via this site

Is it going to be called Asperger experts?

Do we have to register on the website?

Will there be a place for younger people? My son is 10.

What's the website?

My daughter unfortunately sought out single males on dating and other social media.. She ran away with someone she meet 24 hrs prior.. Praise God he couldn’t handle her Aspie quirks and returned her to her dorm room.!!! She is sooooo lonely; no acceptance and rejection everywhere..😕 Just want a safe friendly and accepting way for her to socialize.

Chris Goodfellow, Chris Siatkowski, Christina Louise Bleiweiss, Jamilah N Miller, Elizabeth Beres, Melissa Mulford Birmingham, Jason Birmingham, Joseph Birmingham, Carol Keane, Michael A. Schwarzwalder,

Individuals on the Asperger's and Autism spectrum are some of my most favorite people. I've worked in the field for many years. That's great that you are reaching out to others. Keep up the good work! 💗

My daughter has Aspergers and I love her so much just as she is. Everyday is a challenge so I have such admiration for her. Thank you for the meet up idea. I'll show her it will be great !

I was diagnosed with Aspergers a few months ago. I am 43! I have had no support, so please can you point me in the right direction x

Love this for my son... will definitely get him involved. He is 23 now and he and I'm sure way too many who are entering the adult world really need this. THank you so much!!

What do you suggest for a 16 year old who won't admit he has aspergers? He just thinks everyone else has a problem!

That would be amazing, just to get all of the community together. But I heard that for some people who have asperger, it is hard to communicate and understand other people. Is it true?

Yes nothing wrong with being socially honest. That's why people have a problem because they are trying to give off aire all the time.

I have such a better relationship with my son since I you taught me that direct! Specifics are so much easier!

It would be nice to have a place where people don't tell you what not to say or to stop doing something.

My amazing, cool, so smart, kid is lonely and wants to have friends..He was diagnosed with adhd, which they now believe may not be true and are testing for aspergers! School, right now is hell.

Yay! I can never afford any of your stuff, and i love it! I have two boys on the spectrum and i think a lot of the stuff you offer is really amazing!

This is great. Our daughter was recently diagnosed. She's 21and I feel bad that we had no idea what was going on with her until recently. I think this is a great idea.

I hate the gas mother does glad I found you.I want to help my 15 year old son.

This is my daughter: hi I'm Ashlyn, I'm a female with asbergers, does that mean I have something different?

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3 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Yes, this doesn't have much to do with Asperger's, but we all need a good laugh to stave off the stress now and then.

And besides... it has majesty.

Drop Kicking your cat because you burnt your toast
Credit: for more memes and shit
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Comment on Facebook

It gets better with age....

This stands alongside the admittedly explicit* metal version of “I Fink U Freeky” by Leo Moracchioli on my list of favorite things at the moment. *The original was exactly as explicit as the metal version, but I found Leo’s much more entertaining.

Not nice to hurt animals!!😡

I like this cover it's more melodic than the original!!!!!

Alicia I like big fat burritos and I like to eat cool ranch dorritos!!!

Tiffany Vincent Mayfield hate the song but it's a rubber chicken lol

Hosannah Cousineau. Just because I'm that weird. Enjoy. 😁🤣🙃

Linda Waithman If you need a back-up singer, you can use your chicken!!

Paula Prisock for Zoe

Casey Morrison it’s that chicken again

Holly McAllister...not as good as eastenders cat 😂

Mike your favorite song!

Meg Knudsen I laughed so hard!

Paty García 🤣🤣🤣 lo vi todo jajaja

much better version than the original

I like this more every time I see it.


Omg haha!!!! 😂

Ha ha! Majesty! Love it 😆

Hahaha x

Love it

My kids loved this! Thx

Tegan Hockey this has ended me

That rocks majesty!!

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3 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

EDIT: Our site is back online and running smoothly!

We're aware of an issue with our website causing a 404 error for some people and are actively working on resolving it.
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3 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

We're very excited that on Dec 7th, people with Asperger's will finally have a place to belong, parents & caregivers will have a place to find support & resources, and everyone in the greater community will have a place for sharing stories, connecting and getting advice from each other.

It's all coming with our new website, December 7th at 10 AM Pacific Time.
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Comment on Facebook

Oh my goodness! We have an appointment Dec 7 at 10am Central Time to get initial feedback from the doctor on possible ASD diagnosis...the irony is just interesting to me.

On my son's 7th birthday 🙂

Jim Nichol

Tee Tee King

3 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Happy thanksgiving! Remember: The point of thanksgiving is to be together with other people, not to worry about what foods other people have or don't have on their plate 🙂 ... See MoreSee Less


Comment on Facebook

My son had half his plate covered in turkey and the other in bread. He didn't die and neither did anyone else that saw it. We're blessed to have an extended family that knows him and accepts him as is.

I stopped going for this very reason! My mom would pack my lunch and I would just hear endless rude comments all day. I'd cry all the way home.

Great post! As for our family, this year my sister decided to change the stuffing recipe so my son only ate mashed potatoes and frozen pizza for dinner. 😄

Exactly... my boy plans on having thanksgiving pizza today 😂

My mother and I had a steak dinner like we do every Thanksgiving. I don't like turkey.

Hot dog with lots of ketchup!

We brought kraft mac and cheese!👍❤

So very true!!

Spaghetti & butter! 😊👍🏼

My son had a bit of turkey and Cresent rolls.

if you are American

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4 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Interesting note on this video: If you've been around our messages for any length of time, you've probably heard us talk about something called "Vagal Tone", which is the measure of your ability to emotionally regulate during stressful situations.

High vagal tone=high emotional capacity. You can handle a lot, and easily rebound from stress.

Low vagal tone... not so much.

One of the easiest ways to measure vagal tone is through voice modulation. So if someone is very monotone, they have low vagal tone. If they are very sing-songy, and if, for lack of a better word, their voice feels alive, they have high vagal tone.

By that measure, 99% of the kids in this video have high emotional capacity. Something to think about 🙂

Hudson Valley Sudbury School
What if there was a school where the students wrote and starred in its promotional video?
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Comment on Facebook

Vagus nerve damage whether from surgery, heavy metal toxicity or vitamin deficiency ALL results in continued lowering of b12 levels which can cause more vagus nerve damage. See why here. Has anyone ever thought what is common about these issues and the Vagus nerve? and how are Vagus nerve can be damaged and repaired?

If I'm correct this is "student directed learning". It's a model that works well if you have kids who are motivated learners who don't get put off by mistakes and failures. However, it can limit a kid in to a particular skill set that they might later discover means they don't have the requisite skill set to get into particular courses and qualifications if they then decide they want to go a different route. If a kid is undiagnosed with either mental health or neurological conditions it can be a disaster...we have had that problem first hand.

We sent our eldest to a Sudbury school. It's essentially Lord of the Flies. If a child can't self-regulate there, they are dismissed from the school and they keep the tuition.

Sounds good but actual practice not so much. It's essentially anarchy as a school model. If anything history has shown with no core absolute moral structure or code self control fails. This would require extreme executive functioning skills, something many younger aspies struggle with. *by the way I'm autistic myself

It's also a choice their parents made for them. Did they develop high emotional capacity as a result of their education, their parenting, or genetics? Or a combination of all these things? Did their parents choose to send them to this school because their children could handle it? Would they choose it if their children were different? And does the school do any gate keeping?

It sounds like a nightmare for my son who doesn’t do well in unstructured, unmonitored situations. He is a target for unwanted attention from other kids, or is completely ignored by everyone and is not self-regulated at all. And he has low vagel tone.

My son attended a charter school somewhat like this. He was able to choose his classes and was self directed in his assignments. However, it did not work out well for him. The school was reluctant to accept him because he had an IEP (they didn't have the resources to help him), and he almost immediately butted heads with his teacher. We lasted a semester with that school and then the school itself folded. Back to the public High School!

Unfortunately they are in for a rude awakening when they enter the workforce. They will be told what to do, have evaluations, given deadlines and have bosses to answer to. Traditional Schools are set up to prepare students for this. I hope these kids are independently wealthy!

I think this is a great idea to some extent. Children need guidance that's ok. They don't need rulers they need great leaders to help them find their way in the world. This would be good for some and not for others. But education needs a real makeover for the evolving mind of this generation.

Interesting, but I can see how many people would not cope with this model. It may not suit some people with Autism so well, with their “low vagal tone”. Summerhill school in England since 1921

I think I would've liked this when I was school age. I love the 'it's ok to fail' - I find, for myself, if there's no pressure you're less likely to fail in the first place.

It’s interesting that emotive, high-vagal tone speakers frequently get maligned as ‘melodramatic’ or ‘attention-seeking’

I would go with my kid to protect him. because this could go either wonderfully or "Lord of the flies"

I think socialisation, engagement, sense of belonging and creativity would be enhanced and teenage depression reduced.

Karen Vega know you are always looking at other school models....this is interesting concept...💡 they have local artists come into their school...

It’s called homeschooling

Aiden this school would work for you

Looks great wish their was one closed to me my son would love it in fact all my boys would

What is the best weighted blanket for an adult?

Ian Pearce - read the text above the video.

Sarah Vivian- wondered if you’d be interested in this post??

Jessie Mitchell, Emily Taylor - wouldn't this be fab?!

Interesting. Ingo

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4 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

For everyone asking about the difference between enabling and pushing and backing off completely... read that last sentence.Respect isn’t permissiveness! It’s just how you treat humans, especially ones you love! ... See MoreSee Less

For everyone asking about the difference between enabling and pushing and backing off completely... read that last sentence.


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Except their experience of their emotions is typically far more intense. Which is why they react strongly to things that appear irrational to adults.

Thank you. As always I needed to read this. The waters always seem to be muddled. What's enough? What's too much? Am I giving in? This makes it pretty clear

Nicky Rowley you are spot on. It also means that as the adult in the situation one has the choice of escalating or diffusing the situation. Once works far far better than the other. Helen Fitch you are probably witnessing diffusing as best as the adult can. It's not easy.

It does apply to all children, but particularly to children with aspergers. Some, if not all 5 senses, operate at very heightened levels. With a lot of them you can add heightened emotions as well. Their responses can almost be described as knee jerk reaction, given that there is generally little to no thought process, delay between action and reaction. There are intense responses, particularly to reconciling situations they may perceive to be out of their control.

I would say this applies to any child no matter whether there is a diagnoses or not.

"Gentleness does not mean that you don't guide me; it simply means that your guidance doesn't hurt me."

This is an excellent example for all children 😀

You must be even more gentle with children with autism.

I think I better unlike this page It seems I say all the wrong things.. Sorry people.

An almost impossible balance with my Aspie ❤️

"Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Don't say it mean."

So true


Vincent Gamble

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4 weeks ago

Asperger Experts

Elmo teaching self care is just the best thing. Out of all of the things, this is the best:In tough times, give yourself a hug! Sesame Street in Communities brings free video content of everyone's favorite, furry Muppet friends as they help childre... ... See MoreSee Less

Video image


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As a therapist, I have spent the last twenty years telling clients to hold their own hands, to hug themselves, to smile at themselves in the mirror and ALWAYS have positive are never alone!!

Hurrah for hugs! 🙂

Hi Everyone My Name Is Jesse Shane McQuilkin I am a Representative Of A2ndVoice Which Is a small voluntary non-for-profit organisation run by parents and carers. I Joined With Venessa Bobb The Founder Of A2nd Voice In 2015 I Created The Aspie Network To Help People With Asperger's Syndrome And Parents Caring For People With It , By Providing Solutions , Pointing Them To Services To Help Them. I am a Young Man From Wandsworth, London In Country Of England Who Has Asperger's Syndrome Himself I Will Have A YouTube Platform Soon I Have A Page I Would You To Like And Support Peace

1 month ago

Asperger Experts

A huge thanks to everyone who came out to Deep Into Defense Mode Live this last weekend here in Seattle, WA. (Especially the 2 who came all the way from Switzerland just for the event!).

The next one is in February. For those not in the Seattle area, don't worry! With the launch of our new website on Dec 7th, we're going global with events & meetups all over the world.
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1 month ago

Asperger Experts

We need some help for our new website! We're building out our FAQ section for our courses. What common questions do you have re: our courses? We'll make sure to include them on the course product page. ... See MoreSee Less


Comment on Facebook

Can the courses be stopped and started (paused) or do they need to be accessed in one setting? Can you refer back to the course content afterwards/repeatedly once purchased?

How would you help someone with aspergers who will not accept his diagnoses. He just says he has anxiety!

Will they be available on a CD?

Info and courses sound great but we are low income so most of it is not within our budget

Is there a capacity to build an online community for teens to communicate among themselves?

You know what would really help...if we could clone you and each of us have one in our homes!!😉

Does home schooling work with Asperger boys?

Can we access the info in the uk with our compatibility

I live in the north end (Seattle) Do you need volunteers?

Would love to know with each course if there is “prerequisite” AE course someone would benefit from doing before the current one or if this course can stand alone even if someone has never completed any of the other courses etc.

Joining for the very first time! I’m a mother of a 23 years old aspie. My son was diagnose really early, like 5 years old and I embraced it to help him thrive and he did. But recently is going through a rough time and I don’t know how to help him. Hope I can find some answers here.

What age range are these courses suggested for

Will there be a chance to ask follow up questions if there is something that needs elaborated on? Sharon, Northern Ireland

Q: If the course is replaced by a “bigger and better model”, would thatnowraon rec I w credit toward the newer version if the one they purchased wasn’t accessible anymore?

Consider adding to the name Aspergers Experts the words "and neurodiversity" to encourage more people to join. That was one thing that kept me from checking it out at first.

Áspero er with Tourette syndrome. How help parents to know what behavior are from asperger condition and what from Tourette and how to manage it

You are doing a great job. You have hit on a lot of topics in the past. Anxiety and Socializing more in high school.

Any plans to give a certificate or act 48 credits for attending these so that people in the professional community, like teacher's, can get credit for attending.

Can we share without breaching copyright in the US and the country you live ( in our case the UK)? Elaine

My grandson has Asperger and I’m never sure I’m doing the right thing. I’m not sure what you mean when you talk about defence mode and how to help. I need basic steps of how to be supportive and definite DO NOTS. sorry to be so general.

Thank you my son is autistic too, and life is new and challenging for all of us

more info about certs for teachers

How can we view the Part 2 of your story? I think we have to join AE+ first? We are new...recently found you:)

Breathe Danny 🙂 we love all you do and are doing

Yes, FB group with kids that have autism

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1 month ago

Asperger Experts

We've got some good news regarding the new website. We have an official launch date! Our new website, including a service directory, private Facebook-like support & advice group, more courses, training for teachers & more will be available starting December 7th @ 10 AM Pacific Time.

Yes, we know this isn’t Mid-November, but we have a few last minute things that popped up that we needed to polish to make this the most helpful Aspergers resource on the internet.

With weekly online events such as Dungeons & Dragons, fireside chat on various topics, interviews, webinars & more, our new community will be your 1 stop shop for all things related to Asperger’s life.

And we’re finally adding a service directory, so you can find the areas with the best teachers, therapists, doctors, schools, etc, as suggested and reviewed by your fellow AE members.

Then there’s AE Pro, our new service for professionals to gain up to date training, new ideas and direct guidance from the AE staff. AE Pro members will get all of our courses & be able to add themselves to our service directory.

Finally, launching soon after our new site is Inner Circle, our new personalized coaching & mentoring program. This is designed to give you ongoing, detailed, step-by-step advice, guidance… and a little nudge from time to time to keep you on the right track.

It’s all coming December 7th at 10 AM Pacific Time.

So what do you do until then? Keep checking your email for more details as we get closer!

Can’t wait? Neither can we. But alas, good things come to those who wait.
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If you smother your asperger, the child will end up confused and dependent. Normalization.

Why does everything you offer cost money?

Awesome my son loves dungeons and dragons

Will there be any learning for someone with asbergers that is also dyslexic ?

Do you have any services for Aspie adults?

The teachers need training

Danny Raede, I need to visit with you for a few minutes. What is the best way to reach you???

My son is eagerly looking forward to the D&D gaming!

Looking forward to the local resources section!!

Looking forward in Our Local community ( fort wayne . In ) thx

How do I qdd my email address so I will be notified?

Em Secker!! Check it out!!!

Nice job


Looking forward to this new site!

So excited

Can't wait to see it! 😊


Amanda Williams ♡

Carol Forkum....

George Kane Makayla Kane

LeAndra Pedersen

Beth Schalk Pritchett

John Wooden

Vee Trujillo

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1 month ago

Asperger Experts

A common question we get almost every week is “Can you recommend a good therapist in (various city)?” And until now, we could only recommend what we’ve personally tried. But coming Mid-November with the launch of our new website, that all changes with the introduction of our service directory.

Think community sourced listings & reviews for everything from lawyers to therapists to schools & more. And with our new app (also coming mid-November!) you’ll be able to locate the best service for you and read reviews, anytime, anywhere. Think of it like Aspie-Yelp. More details very very soon!
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Are you planning to charge professionals to be in the directory?

My 13 year old thinks all his past therapists are a joke and doesn't work with them. What do I do???

Will this include Scotland?

Will you have any recommendations for Australia?

This is wonderful! I need resources for Vancouver, BC Canada. My Aspie step-son is now a teenager and it's become a real challenge for my Aspie husband and me, the NT of the family. Having easy to access resources would be fantastic!!!

This will be fantastic as my spouse retires from the Navy and we are looking to move to a a city that is more friendly to my sons needs

Sharlene Brown....This is the site I was telling you about. Check out their stuff if you find time. Sending blessings for a weekend of peace x

I'm really looking forward to this! The ratio for people to mental health professionals where we currently live is 4400 to 1.

Looking fwd to seeing if there is any other therapy besides this Easter Seals ABA in our area. The timing of all this is amazing for us, thanks 👍♥️

We have Kaiser in LA area. They have put together an Autism team to test kids but if you are farther north there’s not much for treatment after diagnosis. Only Easter Seals, which is the company Kaiser uses for outsourcing its treatment. Five days a week, 1 1/2 hr a day, for 6 months! And no vacations, dr Appts, nothing may interrupt, it has to be the most important part of your life for that time and you have to sign a contract to agree to it. And they do other assessments before beginning that are just asking questions and observing a couple times that they charged Kaiser for (I was sent a copy of the bill), so I can imagine how much money they are making providing this service. We’re holding off. I have never heard of committing to such a treatment beforehand and promising to continue even if it doesn’t work.

How can I be test for Aspergers ?

I'm still waiting for 2 months now to get a call back from the only one in my area.

Thank you i so needed for my son!

Matt Wheatley a site that might help your friends

Jennifer Rankin OKC


Send me info. That will help.

Kate Obrien, Dianne Louise

Anna Rebesco

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1 month ago

Asperger Experts

What are you most excited for when our new website launches in Mid-November? ... See MoreSee Less


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A list of therapists in our area.

support it's what we need

I am a cognitive studies major but I am looking forward to this to help me be informed about the different syntaxes of the brain.

Medics treating Aspergers asa serious condition! Not a Mc Donald's burger alternative !!! ☕️️

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